How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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