Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
