something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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