Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
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Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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