I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
