sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
