I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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