aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
