I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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