That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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