haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
