I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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