these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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