I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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