Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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