Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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