A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
