mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
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