Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
