so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
