I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
