just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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