so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
