I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
