I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
