Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Randomize
