I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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