If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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