He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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