he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
now i know why i became what i already was.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
