he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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