Your tits are I can't wait for
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
