I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
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