Sry I called you an 8
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
