I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
