He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
