my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize