I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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