There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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