you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
