I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
