So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
