This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
