well you can't waste a boner
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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