Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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