After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
