When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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