i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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