I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
its liver damage thursday
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
