dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
