Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
