Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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