Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
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turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
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and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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