You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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