If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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